The pencil skirt is a crucial building block for any vintage wardrobe. It’s the most universally flattering skirt shape and looks especially good when there are curves for it to hug – hurrah!
Despite the fact that I loathe my legs, I nearly always wear skirts. This is thanks to the power of the pencil, my fashion soulmate, which ingeniously appears to show off my pins without actually showing them off at all. It hides my tree trunk thighs (god, I’m gorgeous) and streamlines everything that’s left, while drawing attention to my hip to waist ratio.
The Perfect Pencil
* You want it to be snug but never too clingy.
* It should hit you on or just below the knee. Any longer can cut your calves off at their widest part and make you (ok, me) look short and behooved. If you have the long, slender legs of a gazelle, feel free to slink away from this advice smugly.
* Avoid flats unless you’re one of the aforementioned gazelle types. Heels are far more flattering with this look.
* Make sure the skirt has a vent or a split or else your wiggle could become a waddle. I’ve been there. Waddling away in my ventless pencil skirt. It didn’t make me feel like a femme fatale; it made me feel like an idiot.
* Wear with a fitted top and cinch in your waist to create a 1950s hourglass silhouette.
* Choose nude stockings, preferably with a seam, for the most authentic and seductive effect.
The Extra Fancy
I’m so enamoured with the pencil skirt, I’ve written it a love poem. As it can’t read, I’ll let you have a look instead.
An Ode To The Pencil Skirt
You’re sexy but you’re not a sleaze,
You cover up my chubby knees,
You take my wobbly waist and giant ass,
And turn me into an hourglass,
Loved by Marilyn, Joan and Dita,
You give me confidence even though I’m a compulsive eater,
So thanks for being my go-to item,
In a mini skirt I’d surely fright ’em.