The other day a stranger shouted “Nigella” at me. I’m pretty sure he wanted cocaine. So you know, we hung out.
But since I was 14 and grew breasts people have told me I look like the domestic goddess. It’s a backhanded compliment being compared to a MILF when you’re a teenager. “I look hot for a woman in her forties? That’s nice. I wonder if it will help with my GCSEs.” It also made me worry about not being an expert chef. My best impression of Nigella in the kitchen involves licking a spoon provocatively while ordering a takeaway.
She does dress a bit like me though. She’s obviously a fan of the blog. Here are some tips for achieving her look.
1. Buttons are a faff – for the perfect fit, tape your clothes to your body.
2. Don’t feel pressured by society to wear a bikini.
3. A simple tray of cupcakes makes a fresh alternative to a handbag.
And here are some websites we keep bumping into each other on.